Making small talk 2: Building a conversation
This is the second of two blog posts on making small talk before you pitch your film project. If you haven’t had a chance to read the first post, which is all about starting the conversation, then you might like to read it first by clicking on the link below.
So, you’ve just started your pitch meeting! You’re in the room, and you’ve started up some casual conversation before you pitch your next film project. The decision maker is responding to your question. How do you make a good impression now?
If you’d like the decision-maker to be receptive to your pitch, you actually need to listen attentively to the answer and respond appropriately to it. Does that sound easy? Well, think about this the next time you have a conversation; while you are listening to the other person speak, at what point do you decide how you’re going to respond? After he or she has finished speaking, or before? Research shows that most people decide how to respond before their partner has finished talking, and that instead of listening to understand the person’s answer, we usually listen just enough to decide how to respond to them.
The best responses are based on listening fully and attentively to what the other person has to say, and considering it. Although this might lead to very short pauses in your conversation, conversations are not a race! It’s much more important to respond well, than to respond quickly.
Try it!
Next time you have a conversation, and you’re listening to someone speaking, focus on when you decide how to respond. Try to listen attentively to all of what the other person sayS before considering your response.
Of course, you may not always understand exactly what the decision-maker says, especially if English is not your first language. If this happens, don’t be afraid to ask for clarification. You can say something like:
Sorry, I didn’t quite catch that. Would you mind repeating it?
Or,
Sorry, what do you mean by…?
If you want others to like you, if you want to develop real friendships, if you want to help others at the same time as you help yourself, keep this principle in mind:
Dale Carnegie,
become genuinely interested in other people.
How to win friends and influence people
Be interested, not interesting
There are two big reasons why you should be interested in what the decision-maker says instead of trying to sound interesting. Firstly, people appreciate having a conversation where they feel that the other person has taken a genuine interest in what they were saying, meaning that the decision-maker is more likely to have a positive impression of you when you start your pitch. How did you feel the last time this happened to you? Secondly, this is your chance to understand what type of person you are pitching to and what the he or she is looking for, which is invaluable information.
This means that you should listen attentively, show that you’re interested, and ask questions to encourage the decision-maker to open up, and to make you both feel at ease. Let’s think about how to do this in English. Imagine that you’ve asked the decision maker about the film festival that you’re at, and she has answered like this:
“I’ve been so busy, but I’ve really enjoyed some of the short films that I’ve managed to see here.”
Which of these responses do you prefer, and why?
- Yeah, I know what you mean. I’ve been so busy with appointments this week that I’ve hardly had time to catch my breath. I did see a really interesting short yesterday though. It’s called…
- Yes, I can imagine. You must have a lot on this week. There are some really interesting short films on this week. Which of them in particular have caught your eye?
The first response initially sounds empathetic (Yeah, I know what you mean…), but quickly moves the conversation away from the decision-maker and on to you, meaning that she doesn’t feel that we have taken an interest in how busy she is or her thoughts on the films she saw.
The second response is more empathetic focusing on the decision maker’s experience of the festival. It also shows an interest in her comment about short films, not by saying ‘I’m interested‘, but by picking up on what she was saying enthusiastically, which shows that we are listening keenly. By asking a question, we encourage conversation, which will give us useful information when we come to pitch our project.
So, what can we learn from this example? Well, it turns out that when we build a short conversation with the decision maker, we should remember Princess LEIA from Star Wars!
- Listen – to understand, not just to respond
- Empathise – understand the other person’s point of view, not just our own experience
- Express Interest – to show that we listened keenly
- Ask a question – to encourage conversation
Here are some examples of English phrases that you can use to help you to respond when you make small talk.
| Showing Empathy | Expressing interest | Asking questions |
| – I know what you mean. – I can imagine. – You must (be busy) – That sounds (challenging) | – Really? I didn’t know that. – That’s interesting! – Really! I’d love to hear more about that. – Me too. I really enjoy… | – Tell me more about that. – Are you a fan of…(type of film) then? – What did you think of… – Have you had the chance to…(watch…) |
Try it!
Now, it’s your turn to try using LEIA. How would you respond to this comment from a decision-maker?
“This is actually my first time at a European film festival. It makes an interesting change from Sundance in Utah.”
It would be great to hear your response in the comments below.
Next time you make small talk try using LEIA to help you to respond in a way that builds conversation.
Read the room
Of course, the small talk that you make before your pitch is a short conversation to help you to both feel comfortable. This is not the time or the place for a long chat, so you need to know when to draw the conversation to a close. Perhaps, the decision-maker will invite you to give your pitch, or perhaps you’ll have to read his or her body language. Try to close the conversation on a positive note as you move on to your pitch. You could say something like:
I really enjoyed hearing about your… Would now be a good time to tell you about…(name of project)?
I hope that you’ve found this post useful and that you enjoy making small talk in English. I’d love to hear how you get on in your pitch meeting.
Do you need to pitch your film project in English?
Are you a film producer, director, or scriptwriter who would like international support to fund, distribute or collaborate on your film projects? Pitch Your Project is a specialised one-to-one English course that helps you to get your film project off to the best start by pitching your film projects more effectively and confidently in English.
If you’d like to know more about the Pitch Your Project English course, then send me a message or click on the link below.
A little about Nick
As a highly-qualified and experienced English teacher I work with learners to enable them to express their ideas effectively in English when it matters, so that they can make the right impression in meetings and conversations.
I’ve always been a film fan, and teaching film producers and directors has been a fascinating insight into the film industry, which has given me an understanding of the language skills that you need to perfect your film pitch in English.
Working as an independent teacher with my own teaching enterprise has taught me the importance of understanding learners’ needs and aims, and ensuring that my messaging talks to those aims. In the same way, your messaging in your meeting needs to talk to the aims of the person in front of you. Together, we can perfect your message so that you can be effective and confident in your English pitching-meeting.
Nick Swerdlow 